Updated: Apr 14, 2020
Burn out and how to maintain a positive mind set?
So what is determine by burn out? This is when you get to the point of exhaustion where you feel like you have hit a brick wall in your thoughts, motivation, positive energy, feeling tired, anger, sad, depressive thoughts, anxiety, fatigued and then pushing yourself beyond that barrier. It is a feeling of physical and emotional exhaustion, due to stress from living under difficult or demanding conditions. Dont worry, I have been there to so hopefully, with my own experiences and understanding.. This can help some people.
We are living in a ‘burn out’ generation, and what I mean by living in the generation of burn out is that we are constantly on the go, constantly under pressure, constantly comparing our bodies and our lives to other peoples due to social media. We are living in constant ‘fight’ mode of adrenaline to get in to the perfect career, pay bills, education, build business’s. We feel like we are being judged and that our lives are so exposed for people to see, that it is to easy for you to feel like the world has an opinion. Due to the outstanding amount of bills and what seems like every company trying to take money from you, this is making it so hard for the younger generation to get mortgages and be able to live a life with the minimal wages that many people are on, systems are making it so much harder for us to achieve anything and it is putting us into a constant battle in society making it so un sustainable for people to maintain. This leading to a dramatic high rise in mental health problems (along with many other effects on our society such as constant exposure to bad news. Imagine how better the world would be if magazines, TV, Radios etc focused on the good things, happy times and world facts?! But that’s another story…)
For example in one week I have heard Gemma Colins has been caught buying fake designer clothes. For starters WHO CARES and yet again more pressure on society to maintain an image. I have read that ITV have brought out an episode on couples breaking up and then the ex has to watch the other one go on dates with other people LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! This is people’s feelings and emotions. We are exposed to fake stories all over the internet and watching people portray a fake image of themselves and their lives on social media. We have people who are ‘insta famous’ and ‘influences’ who are living their lives through others thoughts, portraying an image of themselves which can become too much to sustain or they are trying to give to much of themselves to other people that it becomes to straining for them. It is to easy for the keyboard warriors to hide behind their screens dishing out bad comments and bullying people. We are reading many sad stories of people all over the world, which can be great to raise awareness, but there is no balance of the positive and negatives, these stories that are being read by an individual are now being held in their own thoughts when it is nothing to do with us or our lives. We are living through peoples lives all over the world leading us disconnected with people, disconnected with who we are and disconnected to our surroundings.
We are living in a generation where we are always on the go, we are already ‘late’ for everything we do and due to us not being used to sat still in our surroundings that when we are free, we look for things to keep us busy or play catch up. We are living in a generation what we do not know what it feels like to achieve as there is always another task, another pressure, another focus. A friend of mine is only 24 years old and is doing quiet an intense and demanding full time job along side a full time uni degree. She works from 7am-6pm and then comes home and studies through then night for months on end earning apprenticeship wage. Time goes so quick that we are learning how to do everything so much quicker. We now have food deliveries so we can continue to do our ‘to do’ lists or keep on working rather than connecting with people and waiting for our food to be fresh cooked sat at a table. We have many ways of getting around which makes people less active, less time out in nature, we are taking on more work load in a small amount of time thinking that it is our only option to be able to get to where we want to be in life, technology is robbing us of sleep, our social connection…
We cannot sustain this way of living.
So how to we change this? I am going to explain a few ways we can overcome this. Not every point will suit everybody as I am talking on behalf of soooo many walks of life.
First of all we are creatures of habit. Unfortunately it has now become a habit for people to check there phones regularly, it is a habit that we cant help but read the bad media, it is a habit to work as much as we do to feel the sense of accomplishment (which never seems to come as there is always another task), it is a habit that we eat the way that we do or we drive everywhere due to it being ‘easier’ or saving time, it is a habit to compare yourself with other people.
To be able to take a first step in the right direction we must focus on YOU. Unfortunately, this is ultimately you that can sort it. Your habits, your decisions, your choices. The fortunate thing about this is YOU can do what ever you want to do. Take time to take a step back and reflect.
Come away from what you dont have, focus on what you do. Pick out all the benefits, your skills, your knowledge... and build on it.
Make a small list of habits that you do in your life every day that you would like to focus on changing to make the quality of your life better. It is all about the small steps which go along way. Do not over do this list as you want to make it manageable, sometimes to many goals at once will lead to going of course. Once you have made this list, focus on it for 4 weeks, it takes 4 weeks to change habits. Every day, put this change into place and remind yourself on why you are doing this. This could be less spending, saving money, not smoking, less drinking alcohol, starting a gym, making more time for family, less media, time managment, work life, prioritising commitments….
While you are going through this process of changing habits then comes…the sense of positive achievement which will then feed onto more good habits and positive thoughts. Trying to change to much at once will most likely lead to no results, dealing with each habit at a time will not only be more manageable but will help change your mind set and encourage better habits and better way of living.
LESS phone time! There is an app that can be installed on your phone and it tells you how long you have been on your phone for. One time I looked at my phone and realised I had been on there for nearly 8 hours that day! That is a full-time job! Think about what I could have done in that time rather than wasting it living in others lives on social media. I found it easier to turn off notifications. When your phone goes off it is to easy to check it and then get distracted by other social media things, by turning them off you tend to forget to check your phone and the time that you have had off your phone you are focused and more productive.
Unfollow and disconnect from the negative! News accounts, negative people, people that make put you down in yourself. The internet and social media are the most amazing platform to be soooo educated. Some of the most intellectual, knowledgeable and positive people all over the world are expressing their thoughts over the media. Use your social media time to get motivated and educated. I would advise to give yourself limited screen times/social media times. Be around people who bring the best out in you, who allow you to be yourself, who encourage you…
Educate yourself! Listen to pod casts, read books, go online… There are many methods of education out there now suited to individuals, I personally struggle with reading and taking in information so I regularly listen to pod casts in my car, in the gym, lying in bed. Educate yourself on not only what you find interesting but also anything and everything! Find out more information about the world we live in, cultures, history, science, your job, people who are role models to you…
Travel, this is one of my most important points. I talk about travel a lot on my social media. Whether it be in the same country you live in, road trips, taking a flight somewhere, going on a couple of trips a year or taking a few months out. This opens up your eyes and mind to the world, it takes you away from day to day life and society. Travelling not only brings us memories and experiences but it brings us independence, education, connection with people, connection with the world. It brings us peace, takes us out of our comfort zone which reduces fear and anxiety. By getting out there it makes you realise that everything is really not that scary and that we have so much life right on our doorstep. Some people find finances or home life hard to travel but, again this can come back to habits. Trips can be made very cheap and accessible now tailored to man life styles and budgets. We should make it part of our habits, monthly budgets, our mind set to go and see the world no matter how dear or far that may be. Getting back into reality, nature and to have the opportunity to understand people and the world is so important for the mind and the feeling of connection.
Do not be dragged in to the negativity of life. If you do not like the look of a story do not read it, if you do not have the mind set to read about someone on the other side of the worlds family problem, death, break up…don’t read it if you are not in the mind to be able to take in that information, this can be a trigger for some people so always focus on your own mind and body on what it needs at the time.
Most importantly focus on YOU, listen to your body on what it needs. The only person who can change themselves and their habits is you. If you are exhausted and in burn out, we need to use that strength in us to pull out of it and heal. This may be hard for some people, but small steps can go a long way. Even by eating healthier to feed the body nutrition, exercise, taking a few days off, getting out in nature, seeing family. Just doing things that make you happy. You need to heal your mind and your body and incorporate things into your way of life to prevent this from happening again. Making short and manageable goals helps to change bad habits and begin to live a life that you want which can contribute to long turn goals.
Getting straight to the point, ultimately, we need to take responsibility of our own actions. We are to quick to blame the bad that goes on around. When we realise that we can take responsibilities of our own lives and slowly bring ways in to life to how we want to live it, it brings us strength, accomplishment and frees our mind.
Few other tips that can help with our way of living;
·First of all, you are only human, you are only one person and you can only do what you can do. I have come to (nearly) learn that worrying will not help a situation. By dealing with problems with a rational mind set it can help the situation be much more effective. Priorities problems and responsibilities that impact you and let go of things that do no.
·Be unavailable to people some times. Focus on you and what means the most to you.
· Drinking atleast 2L of water a day. Our body is made up of 60% water. The brain and heart is 73% and our muscles and kidneys 64% (according to H.H Mitchel in the book biology of chemistry). Water is a key ingredient for positive thinking, brain function, body function, removing toxins, fighting against illness’s, alkaline the body.
· Less bad stimulants such as alcohol, smoking, drugs, caffeine and sugar.
· Take time out pat yourself on the back and to celebrate the bad asses that you are.
· Get out in nature! Nature is the best healer.
· Experience each emotion. People have got this thing about needing to be ‘happy’. Happiness is not a person or a place… It is a mindset. Happy comes from the bad days as well as the good, the mind set that we have towards situations and experiences. It comes with over all contentment in yourself. We have been given emotions to feel them so embrace every one of them. Happy, sad, anger, joy, excitement…
· Be around people who encourage you to be the best you can be, people that make you feel happy.
· Make goals and start to change bad habits. It takes 4 weeks to change a habit, this will not happen straight away. It requires healing and discipline.
·Try and spend a little more time on the here and now of your own lives. Each day can take you one step closer to where you want to be. I am a huge believer that things will and will not happen when it is ready. Live in the moment and focus on your daily goals.
· Is there things in your day to day life that you can change to encourage a healthy mind and body? Less phone time, changing hours at work, incorporating things you enjoy into your schedules, down time, time to organise yourself, de clutter. Take control of what you are allowing your mind to read and the information you are taking in. Does it benefit you ?
· Work smarter not harder! You cannot give the best of yourself to other people if you are not the best in yourself. By working smarter not harder you are doing the best you can do in the time scale you have and then using the rest of the time to re coupe to then give everything your best again.
· Get organised. By being organised it gives you a clear mind and motivation.
· Eat a balanced diet; the human gut is lined with over 100 million nerve cells, it can function without your brain and hold neurons that communicate with each other. Your digestive system is the key transport system for chemical messengers and hormones around the body. It is the place of detoxification and healing. Gut health is one of the most important roles in how we feel in ourselves. I will do another blog on this at another time.
· Exercise; this stimulates your Serotonin in the body (happy hormone), it improves concentration and gives you a sense of over all health and wellbeing. Find exercises that work best for you. Do something with friends or family, get out doors, go to the local gym, go to classes, yoga, find something you enjoy where you can enjoy and be consistent.
· Get into the habit of writing things down; write goals, write feelings, write thoughts, write your to do lists… By writing it down you are expressing and letting out information which helps to clear and de clutter the mind.
· Focus on you! Connect back with yourself again.
· Meditation and yoga!
· Make time to do what you want to do to re charge and to live your own life.
· Let go of what you cannot control and focus on what you can control.
Try and use stress as motivation, many people perform best when they are stressed and under pressure. Some of the best achievements I have made is through stress and pressure. People winning olympic gold medals was because the performed best under pressure, the top singers getting there albums out on time had to use time wisely under pressure, public speakers have said there best speeches under pressure... See it as a benefit to not only push you to focus but it pushes your ability and your strength the make it out the other side and reep the rewards.
Only slightly dipping into this as this can be for a different blog post, the dreaded M word. Money can be a huge barrier for some people. It can be the route of all triggers but please remember that over and above people trying to drain every penny out of us, there are some great people out there that can help financial situations. There are many decisions and choices that we can make that we can bring into our lives to help with this, but also if we try and over come the mind set that money is not everything and there is so much more to life and our responsibilities, you will already have a dramatic shift in your mood and mindset.
I could write for ever about this subject, but I am sure you have had enough of reading now BUT I will be making many more blogs on the subject of burn out, stress, anxiety and the way we live. This can be a very tough subject for sooo many people as everybody is living there own walks of life, every bodies mind set is in a different place, we are all at different stages of our lives, we all have our thoughts, education and experiences but I hope this can help some people 😊
Please all remember that everyone is going on their own journey and to be kind to one another. Everyone is loved and we need to work together as a generation to live life how we want to be.