• Jessica Stagg

Stop comparing your life to others...


Building a positive relationship with yourself ...


One of the most important forms of communication you can have is what you have with yourself, if you cannot communicate with yourself then how are you meant to truly positively connect with yourself and people to connect with you. Understanding yourself helps to bring peace, contentment and correct connections with other people. One of the best things about us is that we are all different yet one of the biggest challenges that people face is that they are ‘different’… But wouldn’t the world be such a boring place if we were all the same? One of the biggest challenges that we are faced with today is that we are constantly comparing our lives to others, the closest ones to you seem to be the ones who can drag you down yet people on social media who you have never even met before are routing to see you win, we are seeing a fake perception of life through the media, we are all wanting that persons body or that persons clothes or that persons life style… Everybody is always wanting to be someone that there not rather than truly pushing themselves to there best potential. This leading a build-up of jealousy, false perceptions, negative vibes, lost connections and mental health issues. Let me tell you one thing… I have been travelling a lot over the years from the fanciest night clubs in Vegas to the sticks of Vietnam and I have not once met anyone that looks like these ‘insta grammers’. Everybody are normal human beings in their own individual ways with there own personalities and opinions. Everybody comes with their own story so do not let the perception of other fool you.

Going back to the point, it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to have someone else’s life and we must stop comparing our lives to other peoples when we know nothing about there story, many people who are content and happy in their lives is because they have found connection and happiness in themselves. The most attractive thing in someone is being the absolute best that you can be and that will naturally attract people who you want to associate yourself with and you will naturally start to win. When you start looking less on what other people are up to and start focusing more on yourself and your own circle, your perception on life will dramatically begin to change. You need to accept that you are not going to be someone that you’re not. Yes, it is normal to feel a little sense of envy towards a situation every now and then, sometimes it can be healthy as it makes us up our game and keep focused but letting the world around you drag you down is not ok.

So how can we change this?

First, we must accept. We are all different with our own lives and our own stories so we must accept that everyone is on there own paths and you need to focus on making the most out of yours. Being different should be thrived on, every single person that has made it in life has done it by being different, grasping hold of that and making the most out of it. We must accept that people perceive the world different due to there bring up and experiences which is ok, if it is somthing you do not agree with and do not have control over then remove yourself from the situation. You must accept that you are not going to connect with everybody and that people will not agree with you. We must accept that we all have our own strengths and limitations. You have the power to do many things which other people cannot do and vise versa. You must accept that you cannot change situations out of your control, but you have full control over your own life. Once we begin to accept, this will allow the wall to come down to enable to make changes and truly live the life how you want.

Then you must begin to focus on what makes you you, what makes you unique, what are your strengths, how are you going to grow in your limitations. It is far more productive focusing on what we can control and focusing on self-improvement then it is being dragged down by things which you cannot control. It is important to focus on peoples strengths and accept their strengths but also understand that for every body’s strengths, they have their weaknesses to.

Acting within yourself. Once we have accepted the differences and focused on what needs to be done then action is required. Unfollow people who are toxic to your thoughts, unfollow people who are negative and drag you down, begin to follow people who you look up to, follow people who are positive to your mind, follow people who help motivate you or people who help with your goals. Educate your mind, there is so many books and pod casts out there on how to accept situations, how to deal with emotions, how to focus on yourself, how to open your mind up to the world and people or even educate yourselves on things you simply enjoy and find interesting. Education always brings confidence. It is so important to positively feed your mind and to come away from the hustle and bustle of society. Focus on who you want to be. Do you want to get fit? Do you want to learn something new? Do you need to start making small steps to change bad habits? Do you want to start eating healthy? Do you need to be around new people? Take some time to self care and feel good within yourself again. You cannot give the best of yourself to other people if you are not feeling the best within yourself. Focus on your own strengths and successes and celebrate the s%$t out of it. Focusing on peoples better qualities, celebrating and feeding back eachother strengths builds on positive behaviour. Communication occurs when someone understands you, but for someone to understand you and for you to build positive relationships with people, you must understand yourself and who you are as a person. Once you start focusing on being the best that you can be you will become more confident, you will attract better, you will become more attractive, and you will feel happier, healthier and content within yourself. By feeling better in yourself and staying focused it will also help you to reach goals and be where you want to be. You will appreciate the people around you and you will thrive watching everybody win. The most amazing inspirational people in life got there because they spent less time focusing on what other people where doing and more time focusing on their own lives.

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Jessica Stagg

Training and Consulting

 

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Jessica@skinphilosophy.training